The best - and sometimes only - way I found to fight for our sons

How you can trust God with your son, no matter the challenges he's facing.

The front door slammed shut with such force that it made my heart lurch.

Feeling utterly helpless, I watched as our oldest son strode onto the vast open land beyond our property.

While it may not seem like a big deal to some, you should understand that we do not slam doors in our home; it simply isn't done. So, you see, our son's slam was meant to make a powerful statement.

And it worked.

He was evidently very upset about something, though I had no idea what was troubling him or how to help. When he was younger, I could let him cry it out, encourage him to stay in his room until he felt better, or hold him until he calmed down.

But now, at 17 years old, those approaches were no longer options. I desperately wanted to rescue him-to intervene somehow—but I also knew I needed to give him space.

Helpless.

Was there anything I could do besides rush to my room, kneel, and pray? And when I say "pray," I don't mean a simple "bless my son" prayer. I mean a heartfelt, desperate cry: "Oh, Lord, please help him!" with tears in my eyes and anguish in my chest. I had to trust Him to reach my son in ways I couldn't myself.

That kind of prayer.

Wrestling in Prayer

I don't think I really understood "wrestling in prayer" until I had a teenage son. Not that this boy gave us too much trouble, but like many young people today, he faced intense disappointments, hurts, challenges, and temptations.

It is no small thing to be a young man in this day and age.

His dad and I often lay awake at night, calling out to God on his behalf and later, for his three younger brothers. We prayed for their protection, strength, and courage. And we still do, as Philippians 4:6 urges us: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

Our four sons when they were much younger. :)

Our four sons today. (Our oldest is second from the right)

Britain with his beautiful wife and baby girl!

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Make Prayer a Regular Part of Your Parenting

Maybe the boy in your life is only a little guy. Even so, I hope you'll start praying for him today.

Then, as he grows older, don't be surprised that he will need your prayers more than ever.

But I also hope you won't consider prayer as a last-ditch effort in your parenting. You don't want to wait until a child slams the front door to begin praying for them. Instead, you can make prayer a regular part of your parenting.

Yes, make prayer your first impulse, not your last, when it comes to loving your son. And remind yourself that, thankfully, it's not all up to you to keep his heart safe and his body sound. He has a Heavenly Father who knows and loves him more than you ever could. You can’t help him by being anxious — only by being prayerful.

So why not go to God and talk to Him about that boy you love? Pour out your concerns, your hopes, and your desires for him.

Our oldest son, the one who slammed the door so many years ago, recently turned thirty-one. He often expresses gratitude for having a praying mother, saying it has made a significant difference in his life. He is now married to a wonderful young woman, and they have a baby girl. And I am thankful for all God has done and how He has carried him - and continues to carry him - through life's challenges.¹

My friend, you can trust God with your son. Start today by lovingly lifting him up in prayer.

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A Closing Blessing

I pray you will lift your son in prayer daily, no matter his age, to his Heavenly Father.

May you ask God to protect and strengthen him and give you wisdom, guidance, and grace to raise him well.

I hope you will trust the Lord with your son’s heart and life, remembering He loves and cares more for him than anyone could.

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Recommended Resources

Here are several books that I believe you’ll find helpful and inspiring while raising sons, in particular:²

100 Ways to Love Your Son: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship by Matt and Lisa Jacobson

Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys by Durenda Wilson

Praying the Scriptures for Your Children: Discover How to Pray God's Purpose for Their Lives by Jodie Berndt

I hope you’ll be blessed and encouraged, my friend.

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

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1. I don’t want this to sound like a guaranteed happily-ever-after situation, nor do I want to minimize what our sons have struggled with or the difficulties they’ve faced. Mostly I want to emphasize I’ve never regretted praying fervently over these boys and many times it seemed the best and only “parenting approach” we were left with.

2. These are not affiliate links — merely books I’ve written out of my own personal experience or those that I’ve read, benefited from, and can highly recommend.