I asked God for her to be full of kindness and this is how He answered
Little did I know that my prayer would be an incredible blessing to me as well, in ways I could never have imagined.
I don't remember exactly how old our sons were when I started.
All I know is that the four boys were relatively young—some might say ridiculously young—when I began praying for the woman each might marry one day.
And while some of the other specifics varied, depending on the son, my consistent request was for her to be full of beauty, wisdom, and kindness.1
I wish I could tell you I added "kindness" with brilliant intentionality, but it was more of a mother's hunch than any particular insight.
But, oh, am I glad I asked that she be kind.
Because I can now say, I have two of the kindest daughters-in-law you could ask for.
Such a clear and wonderful answer to prayer.
The Blessing of Kindness
At the time, it was our sons I had in mind—what a blessing it would be to have a kind wife. Little did I know then that it would become an incredible blessing to ME as well, in ways I never could have imagined.
Something I've thought a lot about this past week.
I reflected on this as I sat across the table from sweet Abi while enjoying a cappuccino together at The Lemon Tree. Not only how kindly she speaks to me but to all those around her.
And how she notices people and the small things.
I watched tears fill her eyes as she told me about one particular day at the jewelry shop where she works. About how an older gentleman came in to inquire about selling his unique wedding ring because he wouldn't be needing it much longer. His wife stood by his side, quietly acknowledging that he wasn't likely to make it to Christmas, and the money would be of help.
I felt a little teary, too, as I listened, picturing this young girl before me demonstrating such compassion and kindness to the elderly couple. Caring more than the typical person you might meet behind the store counter. And I love this about her.
But Abi isn't the only kind one.
Because there's Amy, our oldest son's wife, too.
Amy who is taking care of our Avonléa right now as I write this. And I don't mean merely "caregiving" — although that is a beautiful blessing in itself! — but genuinely looking for ways to delight her in their time together. Amy lets her "help" with their three-month-old baby, bakes lemon bars, and takes her along shopping to pick out a gift for a friend. And if you know Avonléa, she enjoys nothing more than helping!
I can hardly believe this good gift as I watch Amy's expressions of kindness toward our special girl—such a cup-overflowing answer to prayer.
I am deeply touched.
And convicted.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:32
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. ~ Proverbs 31:26
Full of Fresh Kindness
I am convicted because kindness doesn't always come as naturally as I might wish.
I've noticed the times that my communication tends toward snappish, and I silently blame it on stress. I can be stingy with my limited time and offerings, justifying it with the excuse of busyness. But what I've wrestled with the most lately is thinking kindly. I've caught myself more than once having to ask, "Now, Lisa, is that a kind thought?" And having to repent and adjust my thoughts accordingly.
Oh friend, I long to be full of the fresh kindness I see in these young women.2 I want to have kind words on my tongue, to be generous with kind deeds, and, above all, to have kind thoughts toward my husband, family, friends, and even strangers.3
How about you?
Are you struggling with similar things? Are you longing for more warm kindness to permeate your life? Are you praying for kind words and deeds to fill your home?
I'm right there with you.
So I continue to pray for kindness—certainly for the women that our other two single sons might marry someday, but I also pray this for myself. I pray for it, and I’m trying to practice it as well.
And I'd be glad to pray the same for you.
For His merciful kindness is great toward us,
And the truth of the Lord endures forever. ~ Psalm 117:2
A Closing Blessing
I pray you will know, clear down to your toes, God’s loving kindness toward you.
May you ask the Lord to give you many opportunities to express kindness to others with your thoughts, words, and actions.
I hope you and I will be most known for our kindness at the end of our days—more than anything else we might wish to attain or accomplish.
In His grace,
Lisa Jacobson
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I shared my original prayer for our oldest son here: A Prayer for My Son’s Bride-toBe.
This includes my own kind daughters, right down to our dear Avonléa.
If you’re struggling with being a kind wife, I wrote more about this in the book I co-authored with Phylicia Masonheimer, The Flirtation Experiment.