How one message from a good friend changed my perspective (+ new wedding pics!)

Maybe you already know this feeling.

Maybe you know it all too well.

The sense of being overwhelmed and wondering how you will handle everything coming your way.

And if this feeling describes your current situation, I understand. Life has a way of dishing it up hard and fast.

As you might recall, I was recently in just such a place with too much coming at me. We had one son getting married (120 days after meeting her!)¹ and one son whose wife was expecting their first baby right about the same time (also married the same year after 120 days!).

Bridal showers, baby showers, rehearsal dinners, and weddings. Two new daughters-in-law, a new grandson, and soon a new granddaughter. Lots of blessings, but also some struggles and heartaches I’m not able to share here.

I could hardly keep up with everyone and all the heart-needs and just plain logistics that come with significant life changes in your family.

The unexpected message

So, in my state of overwhelm, I reached out to a dear friend who is more experienced than me in such matters. ² I left a voice message pouring out all that was on my plate and asked her to pray.

Later, Jodie left a message in reply. It went something like this, “I got your message, Lisa, about what you’ve got going on right now, but you didn’t say what you needed prayer for.”

At that point, I blinked. I didn’t specify because it didn’t seem to require an explanation.

She continued, “Everything you’re describing sounds like what is only natural for the season of life you’re in. Engagements, weddings, babies, breakups, family adjustments. This is all very normal.”

Umm, not nearly as sympathetic as I’d expected. No deep spiritual insights.

Simply a reminder that these are the ordinary challenges that come naturally with the season.

Ouch. I’ll confess I felt a momentary sting.

Looking back, I suppose I was looking for commiseration. Pity even. Instead, my friend--my very good and wise friend--offered me something more valuable: truth.³

And while that truth didn’t change my circumstances or ease the challenges, it made a world of difference in my perspective.

Suddenly, what had seemed “impossible” or “staggering” was now oddly unremarkable.

Furthermore, I realized that, rather than being helpless, I had choices to make.

I could worry about the possibility of my granddaughter being born on our other son’s wedding day. I could fret over the many details of simultaneous events. And I could agonize over another child’s heartbreak.

OR I could keep in mind that these are the joys, sweetness and sorrows that often come with this particular season.

Not only that, but none of this is too much for the Lord. He knows Amy’s due date, as well as Revere’s wedding date. And He’s aware I can’t be in two places at once. He also knows and cares about my children’s heartaches more than me.

These are the difficult but ordinary challenges that come with this season of life.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ~ Romans 12:12

Can I be that good friend?

Now, in case you don’t have a Jodie around to remind you that your current situation--and the struggles that come with it—is a relatively normal part of life, can I be that friend?

Maybe you’re the mother of young children and, in addition to the many sleepless nights, your family has had one illness or setback after another. That can make for a tough, tough time. (Trust me, I remember!)

And yet . . .

While your season is incredibly stretching, it doesn’t make it bad. Just hard.

And there is a difference.

Or maybe you’re raising teenagers and suffering sleepless nights for other reasons. It is not unusual to encounter new parenting challenges and cries for wisdom in such a season. That was certainly my experience in those teens years.

Or perhaps you’re caring for aging parents, and it’s sad and heavy at times. I am truly sorry. I’ve been there and know the weight of watching parents decline right before your eyes.

In no way am I diminishing the hardships that come with each season of life—in yours or mine. But what I am saying is that your perspective has the power to make it either much heavier or a little bit lighter.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~ Hebrews 4:16

A gentle reminder and encouragement

So if I could be a friend and offer this gentle reminder:

Remember that this is only a season. It’s not forever, although the enemy wants us to forget that part. He wants us to lose sight of the fact that it won’t always be like this and tomorrow is a new day.

Remember, it’s a season of life. Whatever stage of your journey—single, married, mother, grandmother—you’re in God’s hands. You can continually long for “some other season” than the one you’re in, but how much are you missing out on in your longing? Don’t let the enemy rob you of God’s goodness now by continually wringing your hands over the hard parts.

Remember, it’s ordinary. That is to say, you are not alone—no matter how it might feel. This is where the enemy can hit us the hardest. He wants you to feel like you are the only one going through this or, at least, the only one who is having such a difficult time of it. Please don’t let yourself believe this. It’s not true. We all have our struggles, as “ordinary” as they may be.

Then lastly, my friend, whichever season you find yourself in, remember God sees you and will be faithful to carry you through.

---

A Beautiful Fall Wedding

Thank you for all who prayed for our wedding day! It’s a risky business having an outside wedding in November in Central Oregon, but we actually enjoyed a touch of sunshine on what was otherwise a rather chilly fall day.

Also, our daughter-in-law did NOT go into labor on the wedding day as I feared, Both she and our oldest son were able to be in the wedding, along with the rest of the siblings. Our precious granddaughter was born a couple of weeks later!

10 Groomsmen, including his three brothers and, yes, they’re all wearing knives. Don’t ask me.

A Closing Blessing

I pray you will remember God sees you and will carry you through your difficulties and heartaches.

May you trust the Lord with the ordinary, and even extraordinary, challenges that come with your season of life.

I hope you will choose joy and not lose sight of the fact that we have a real Hope and look forward to a new tomorrow.

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

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1. You can read more about their whirlwind romance here. :)

2. My good friend, Jodie Berndt, has many wise and encouraging resources available. I highly recommend them all!

3. We often look for “sympathy and understanding” from a friend, but I’d encourage you to find a friend who is willing to say the hard thing too. That is real love.