How my recent medical tests brought bad news, but hidden blessings too
That unexpected phone call that seemed to change everything
It's never a good sign when you get a personal call from your doctor.
It's even more alarming when it happens on the same day you underwent what were supposed to be routine tests and labs.
I immediately knew it couldn't be good news.
"Hello, Lisa, you know those tests you took this morning? The results came back, and I'm sorry, but it's not what we expected. In fact, it's rather concerning." Her voice was calm, but I could sense the gravity of the situation.
She briefly reviewed some of the results, using medical terminology such as 'significant deterioration' and 'potential risk of chronic pain or disability,' and asked me to return to the office to discuss options.
She ended the call with, "I am just as surprised as you must be."
"Surprised" is one word; "shock" would probably be more accurate. I found my way over to the edge of the bed to sit down and process what she had just told me. My mind was racing with a million thoughts and, admittedly, a few fears. The suddenness of the news was almost overwhelming.
The only reason I had gone into her office and requested the tests in the first place was to 'get a baseline.' I had neither pain nor any particular complaints—quite the opposite. I had been feeling great and intentionally looking after my health for some time.
Now, with a single phone call lasting less than ten minutes, I was confronted with a reality I had not anticipated. I was facing a serious condition that would likely, if not inevitably, shape the rest of my days. 1
And possibly shorten them.
When It’s Not What You Expected
I want to tell you that I felt a certain sense of peace settle over me at that moment. That, after all I've been through over the years, I was prepared for this.
But that's not the case.
Once the initial shock wore off, I found myself weeping on the brown leather couch in Matt's home office—there was nothing peaceful or pretty about it.
I cried to think I might not be able to look after Avonléa the way I had always hoped. I worried that Matt might eventually become the caregiver for both of us, and I was saddened that I wouldn’t be the active grandma jumping on the trampoline with my grandkids as I had envisioned.
Mainly, I felt more grief than fear—a deep sense of loss and profound disappointment. I did not see this challenge coming, and the weight of that realization was heavy on my heart.
However, after a couple of months had passed and I began to adjust, I slowly came to embrace a different perspective — one filled with humility and renewed gratitude. And it’s these hidden blessings I want to share with you, as the lessons I'm learning are not just for me but for everyone facing a health challenge or any difficult season in life.
Some of you reading this may be in your 30s or 40s, healthy and strong, and may doubt that it has much relevance for you, except perhaps out of curiosity. However, I encourage you to consider how these insights can apply to you as much as they do to older women or those facing chronic illness, the many who have been nodding their heads since about the third paragraph.
While I could outline all the steps I'm taking—sometimes quite literally—to improve or at least slow down my health situation, I believe it is more helpful and encouraging to share the changes in my heart and mind rather than those in my body.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. ~ Psalm 16:11
A Change in Perspective
If you had asked me a few months ago how I would respond—like what I would actually DO—if I received a concerning diagnosis, I’m sure I would have rattled off the goals I wanted to accomplish or items on my bucket list. I might have mentioned the projects I hope to complete, the boxes of memorabilia in my closet that I intend to organize, and the piles of old photos that I plan to sort through.
Or I might have aimed for something bigger, like writing that last book, traveling to Greece, or returning to podcasting.
However, when faced with a real test, my reaction was quite the opposite of what I would have expected. Instead of feeling the urge to push harder, I found myself wanting to slow down and savor the moments rather than rush to achieve more.
While I still aspire to reach some of my goals, I feel an even stronger desire to take my time and make the most of each moment. I want to watch the sunrise with my husband, relax on our back patio with a good book, and hold my grandchildren while sipping tea with my daughters and daughters-in-law. I want to play cards with my sons and go on long walks with old friends. Although these kinds of moments don't typically appear on a resume or in a biography, as we all know, they are among the most valuable and meaningful experiences in life.
A Deeper Humility
As I searched for the right words to express this next revelation, I realized it ultimately comes down to humility. While I've known this truth for some time, I now feel it deeply: my life is truly in God's hands. My days, my strength, and my efforts mean nothing apart from Him.
So yes, I would have correctly answered a question about this on a multiple-choice exam; it's just that I've come to understand that I don't always reflect this belief in my daily life. Unlike some convictions that can leave you feeling sad or regretful, this one has brought me nothing but relief. The world—my world—doesn't depend on me nearly as much as I had previously thought, and it's rather freeing.
How sweet it is to surrender your heart and every breath to Him fully!
Renewed Gratitude
Who would have guessed that a gloomy medical report could fill your heart with gratitude? I certainly didn't.
Although it started with some definite "poor me" moments, once my tears dried, I began to see the abundance of good things around me. I'm not just talking about the "it could have been much worse" perspective (though that is true as well). It's hard to explain, but it felt as though all the ordinary aspects of my life—from sunrise to sunset—became noticeably brighter and sweeter.
I hate to admit it, but unconsciously, I'd been taking my life for granted. It's astonishing to realize how many blessings I overlooked. And it's a little embarrassing to reflect on the things I found annoying and see how small and silly they were. God has given me a good and rich life, and I am thankful for it. This revelation alone made the otherwise discouraging medical report feel worthwhile!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. ~ Psalm 103:1-5
Something to Consider
So, my friend, I hope you won't wait for an unexpected call from your doctor to reflect on the gift-filled life you've been given. I'd encourage you to take some time to consider what God might want you to embrace and rest in as well.
Do your daily decisions align with what is truly important and valuable to you?
Do you start each day with a keen sense that your life is in God's hands?
Is your heart filled with gratitude for the many blessings you enjoy every single day?
You know, it's funny, but in some ways, my life hasn't changed much since my phone rang earlier in the spring, despite how it turned me upside down at the time. And then again, in many surprisingly wonderful ways, that call has changed everything.
And for that, I am truly grateful.
A Closing Blessing
I pray that you will trust your daily life—and all its challenges—and your future to your Heavenly Father.
May you consider slowing down, savoring the small moments, and enjoying the many blessings all around you.
I hope your heart will be filled with joy and gratitude for the sweet life He’s given you.
In His grace,
Lisa Jacobson
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While I didn’t want to go into details here, to clarify, I do not have cancer.