Here's a wild way of resolving an otherwise irreconcilable situation

What you can do even when your situation—or relationship—seems utterly impossible.

Our first fight was nearly as memorable as our first kiss.

Maybe even more so.

Matt and I enjoyed such a smooth engagement period that it never occurred to me that it might ever be otherwise. At the time, I couldn’t even imagine what there could be to “fight” about, still less that we’d have a situation go from zero to sixty in under twenty minutes.

His zero, my sixty.

But one mid-June afternoon, a couple of months before our wedding day, I cheerily walked into his apartment and set down my purse on the kitchen counter when my eye caught sight of an airline ticket to California tucked under a pile of mail.

My fiancé is leaving me.

One glance at that United Airlines ticket, and I knew it. I’m not saying it was logical, but that’s where my mind went, and my husband-to-be was about to see a side of me he’d never seen before.

Filled with fear and panic, I angrily lashed out at him with a myriad of irrational questions and accusations: “What is this ticket for?” “Where are you going?” And more to the point, “Why would you be leaving me?”

Matt tried to calm me down by explaining that it was simply a ticket to a good friend’s graduation. He’d forgotten to tell me, but he’d be flying out the following Friday and would only be gone for a few days.

At that point, I corrected Matt, informing him that, no, actually, he wouldn’t be flying anywhere. I see now that it must have sounded a lot like an order, but what he didn’t understand was that it was more of a heart cry. Please don’t leave me. I’m scared you won’t come back.

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

   and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

    and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5–6

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Our First Relational Impasse

Matt was initially confused by my angry response to his plans for California, but this particular tactic—this I’ll-tell-you-what-you-will-and-won’t-do approach—only made my fiancé raise his eyebrows and dig in all the deeper. Back and forth we went until we were at a total impasse for the first time in our relationship.

In the past, we’d always managed to work things out or come up with a reasonable compromise. But how does one “meet in the middle” when the issue is a flight to California? You either go, or you don’t go.

And so our argument continued to escalate, with me becoming increasingly irate.

Then, suddenly, without saying a word, Matt whipped around and went into the back bedroom, shutting the door behind him and leaving me standing there alone. Stubbornly, I stood in the same spot, tearfully waiting for him to return so we could finish fighting this thing out.

But he stayed in the room so long that I concluded he wasn’t returning—not ever. I was now truly convinced he was leaving me, just as I’d suspected all along. At last, unable to take it, I silently cracked open the door, confident I’d catch him packing his bags for his departure.

But I called it wrong.

Neither packing nor leaving, that man of mine was kneeling beside the bed and praying.

I could hear him pouring out his heart—and our terrible argument—before the Lord as if it were the most natural thing in the world. My fiancé was trusting God with our problems. What a wild way of resolving an otherwise irreconcilable situation!

*And here we are 32 years later... :)

Choosing the Wild Way

Although I’d prayed about many things in my twenty-six years, I’d never thought to pray about an argument, anger, or hurt feelings. I had always considered those kinds of issues to be my own to work out. Now, I knew differently, and this knowledge rocked my world. What a beautiful realization that I could trust God with my husband, our marriage, and, yes, even our conflicts.

And so can you.

Did you know that it doesn’t always come down to you to figure things out or solve problems? Instead, you can take it to the Lord in prayer, trusting Him to guide and care for you. Even when your situation—or relationship—seems utterly impossible, you can entrust it to His loving, almighty hands.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

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A Personal Update

To let you know, the above true story is an excerpt from my marriage devotional, Loving Your Husband Well: A 52-Week Devotional For the Deeper, Richer Marriage You Desire.

And I’m sharing this with you now, instead of what I originally intended to write this week, because one of our sons, Revere, is getting married next week, and my life has been full with bridal showers, wedding planning, and marriage preparations.

But that’s not all.

Our oldest son and his wife are expecting their first child any day now (and are supposed to be the best man and a bridesmaid in that same wedding!).

As you can imagine, this particular “impossible” situation has been much on my heart and mind. Two incredibly beautiful blessings . . . happening more or less at the same time (but hopefully not on the same day!).

And so I found myself wrestling with trusting God with these potentially conflicting life events this week. Asking Him, “Lord, how can our oldest son miss his brother’s wedding?” And, “What will it mean if this baby comes this early?” Not only that, but “How can I be in two places at once?”

Impossible.

Once again, I found myself on my knees by our bedside in the early hours this morning. Not due to a relational conflict but because of what seems like something of a scheduling conflict, to say the least.

So, I’d be grateful for your prayers for our family over the next ten days. We are so very excited about this new marriage as well as this first baby girl! And we desire that both events go smoothly and hope we can all be there for both celebrations.

A Closing Blessing

I pray that you will spend more time praying about your fears and concerns and less time fretting over them.

May you trust the Lord that whatever your impossible situation, you remember that it is safely in His good Hands.

I hope you choose the “wild way” by kneeling by your bedside to ask God to do what you cannot.

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

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